How to Get a Girlfriend

So, you want a girlfriend? Maybe you have some special girl in mind, or maybe just an idea in your head of the perfect girlfriend you want, but haven’t met her yet. Either way, the absolute best way to get a girlfriend is to learn how to attract women in GENERAL. If you were already good with women in general, you would have no problem getting a girlfriend. Read How to Attract Women to get some advice on how to become attractive to women in general. Once you’ve done that…

Set up a Relationship Frame Early On, but Not TOO Early

If you want a girlfriend, the worst thing you can do is start talking about a relationship on the first, second, or even third date. Girls like a challenge, they don’t like guys are who are easy or desperate. But, there are some things that are acceptable early on. The only difference with a girl you wanted to potentially be your girlfriend vs. a girl you just wanted to casually date (fuck) would be that with the girl you wanted to be your girlfriend, you would just do more cute little relationship style stuff with her. Cuddle with her in bed for hours. Kiss her on forehead, and run your fingers through her hair. Give each other cute nick names (you can do better than “babe”). Text her randomly when you wake up first thing in the morning, “Good morning beautiful, hope you have a wonderful day!” to let her know you are thinking about her. But again, don’t be TOO clingy early on, it will kill her attraction for you if you act overly needy or desperate, or move too quickly in the early stages. As thing progress after a couple of dates, you can take it further. Even a little bit of cute jealously is acceptable at this point but please, do not go overboard with this stuff guys. Remember the fundamental rules of attraction – if you are needy, insecure, overly clingy, jealous, you will lose the girl.

What is OK to do early on and even recommended is to talk about qualities you like in a potential mate. This will help establish the relationship frame early on in a safe way. You can even break the number one rule and bring up your ex SO LONG AS everything you say about her is NEGATIVE. You can say, “Something I like about you is that you’re really smart, you can carry a deep intellectual conversation very well. My ex wasn’t like that at all. From now on, I’m only dating smart girls!” See that? That’s how you subtly suggest that there is more to this than casual dating, without scaring her off by being too attached early on. Oh, and use references to your ex very sparingly!

Be Selective, Screen For the Right Girl

I’d like to share with you guys a little story about a girl I met on an online dating website. She made one comment in particular that was very interesting. I remember I gave her some compliment about her body and she said something like “I’m glad you like it, but that seems to be all guys want me for.” At the time, I didn’t think much of it. But when I asked for her number and we started talking on the phone, I started seeing some serious evidence to support that statement. She kept telling me stories about guys she’d had sex with but they wouldn’t stick around for long after they had sex. After just one or two phone calls and before even meeting her in person yet, I started getting some very sexual text messages from her:

“God I’m horny. Morning sex sounds good right now”
“Do you like having sex?”
“I’m kind of sexually frustrated… If only I was in your bed right now”
“You have a sexy voice, I bet lots of girls try to get in your pants”
“God I’m so horny right now it’s unbelievable.”

Keep in mind that I BARELY know this girl at this point, and still haven’t even met her in person! Now, do you think this is the type of girl you would want to be your girlfriend? How many other guys is she fucking right now? Be selective with looking for a girlfriend. Where I’m from, Los Angeles/Southern California, the divorce rate is in the neighborhood of 60-75%. That is astronomically high. Don’t rush into a relationship unless you know it’s with an awesome girl that you are compatible with.

Be Aware of Red Flags

See my previous story for an example of a red flag. Another example of a red flag: Sometimes you start dating a girl that currently has a boyfriend, then she dumps her boyfriend for you, and wants you to be her new boyfriend, having already cheated on him with you. If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is. Also be sure to look out for overly emotional and/or psychotic girls, bipolar girls, girl with depression and other mental illnesses. The most important “relationship” for those kinds of girls to have is between them and their psychiatrist.

Most guys simply screen for one thing—if the girl is hot or not. They ignore all her flaws, like her personality. The hottest girls are usually the most insecure, because they feel they have to rely on their looks, and they don’t have much else to offer. You NEVER want a girl like that to be your girlfriend. I’ve seen guys put up with girls who go through their phone, stock their myspace/facebook pages, just constantly play detective because they are so insecure. I’ve even known buddies of mine whose girlfriends would set up a fake facebook account, pretending to be another girl, and try to hit on their own boyfriend to catch him if he flirts back. Again, red flag.

If you order food at a restaurant and smiley politely at the waitress, even crack a joke with her, and the girl you’re with gets angry and accuses you of flirting, that’s a red flag.

It’s not just about insecurity either guys, that’s just the most common. Some really hot girls are just plain bitches, or stupid as fuck, or completely nuts. The point is, don’t be mesmerized by her beauty. If you just want to fuck her that’s one thing, but this is about how to get a girlfriend. So be aware of red flags, screen girls for more than just physical beauty, and avoid emotionally unstable/crazy girls like the plague.

Understand Why Girls Cheat

I remember I used to believe that girls only cheated on guys who didn’t satisfy them for one reason or another. Maybe the guy sucked in bed, so the girl runs off to find good sex with another man. Maybe he can’t emotionally satisfy her because he has a wall up. He could be too busy at his job and not make enough time for her, so she gets lonely and cheats on him. Maybe he’s too much of a jerk, or too nice, too this or too that.

See what’s wrong with this picture? I was placing all the blame on the guy: It’s HIS fault if the girl cheats on him. Now I realize that this is complete bullshit. Girls are not innocent goddesses from the heavens. If a girl cheats on her boyfriend, it’s HER fault, not his. If she is unhappy in the relationship, she should have the strength to break up with him, not cheat.

Girls cheat for a variety reasons, but 100% the most common reason why they cheat on their boyfriends is because they have low self-esteem, are insecure, and need constant attention and validation from men to feel good about themselves.

How good do you feel when an attractive woman is clearly into you: She’s laughing hysterically at all your jokes, she’s giving you eye contact, she’s 100% focused on everything you say, she’s touching you, she’s flirting with you and telling you you’re cute, etc. Feels good, doesn’t it?

Women LOVE this feeling of being desired even more than us—all women. The difference is, confident and secure women already have enough self esteem that they don’t need to seek it externally from random guys constantly. Some girls, on the other hand, cannot live without it. We often call them sluts, whores, etc.

Look out for these types of girls. Girls that constantly flirt with other guys; have too many male friends they use for attention and validation; don’t have very many girlfriend or if they do, they aren’t nearly as pretty as they are; girls that are clingy and needy and get jealous easily; girls that are insecure about their appearance even when they look gorgeous; girls who constantly fish for compliments; girls who accuse you of flirting with other women when you’re simply having an innocent conversation, etc. THESE TYPES OF GIRLS WILL CHEAT ON YOU. You could be the best boyfriend in the world, doesn’t matter. It’s their issue, not yours, you can’t control them. They constantly seek validation from men to feel good about themselves, and no matter how much validation you give them, you’re just ONE guy, they need it from other men too. And they WILL find it, so beware of girls with these qualities.

In Conclusion

First things first, learn How to Attract Women in general, once you are good with women, getting a girlfriend will be easy. Be extra cute and sweet to a girl you want a relationship with vs. a girl you just want to fuck. Screen for girls on a lot more than her looks: Is she funny, charming, witty, intelligent, confident, sweet, kind, motivated, hard working, goal oriented? Or is she just a stupid, mean bimbo with fake tits, who can’t even spell silicone? Avoid clear red flags such as girls who start dating you when they currently have a boyfriend, go through your text messages, etc.